what i learned in my times of quaratine and isolation

i have had to isolate 6 times in this past year and it was a pretty big deal for me. ever since i was little, things like sleepovers, going to school, and going to soccer practice were all things that really freaked me out because i was so afraid to be away from my mom and home. i thought that it was something that i would eventually grow out of, but until i moved to college during covid i realized that i never really got over it. my first year of college was a huge deal for me. i finally learned that my real fear was of being alone. and at this point, i really didn’t have an option to get out of it, i made a commitment that i had to follow through with. september 25th, 2020, probably one of the worst, most nerve-wracking (yet most personal growth) moments in my life. my parents pulled up into the ucla parking lot, and i loaded up a bin full of my belongings. alone, i carted my things into my building, stepped out of the elevator into the unlit hallway and rolled the cart to the front of door, DEN-F229, my freshman year home. after my second trip, i was no longer able to hold back my tears and i began to cry. i opened the door to my dorm to see the fridge, desks, dressers and chairs all shoved in the middle of my new dorm. i looked out my window and peered into the courtyard and waved to my parents, i was sobbing, seeing them walking around in the world and then there was me; right at the beginning of my 9 day isolation (that ended up turning into a 21 day isolation). i could not tell you what I did in those 21 days because i truly don’t remember, but what i do know is that i did a lot of crying and begging for my parents to come pick me up. they kept telling me to wait a few more days, that i was "a part of history" and "how special it is you got to isolate at school during covid," and i was seriously not having it. i cried, i stayed though, i made it through. i ended up having to isolate 5 more times because of close contacting from the team. i never got covid, not until december 2021 (but that's a story for a different time). anyways back to the point. this is about what i learned in my times of quarantine. i learned that knitting was and still is the best pastime activity.

i learned that reading can be something that doesn’t need to cause me stress or be frightening, but something that i can actually enjoy i learned that fight club is overrated (i know this is probably super controversial but seriously, i just don't see the hype) i learned that the friends that call you when you're isolating and have nothing new to talk about are the ones that really care. i learned that drinking water is for losers (this is a joke because when we were isolating at school there was a day where we got like one bottle of water, they brought us many after though it was okay) i learned that i need to be alone more often. i always try to find ways to not be bored but boredom and thinking to myself is actually what I needed and still need. i learned how to be independent. being nervous about being far away form home, alone, was no longer an option for me. getting though all of those quarantines without going home was probably one of my biggest accomplishments. although it may seem small to someone else, i learned a lot about being on my own and handling stress independently. and most importantly, i learned that i needed to grow up. i needed to stop being worried because all of the nonsense that i was feeling was coming from myself.